On average, it takes someone 4-7 times of leaving an abusive relationship before they will leave for good. One of the most common questions people ask about victims of domestic violence is, “Why don’t they just leave?” People stay in abusive relationships for a variety of reasons including, but not limited to:
- The victim fears the abuser’s violent behavior will escalate if (s)he tries to leave.
- The abuser has threatened to kill the victim, the victim’s family, friends, pets, children and/or himself/herself.
- The victim loves his/her abuser and believes (s)he will change. • The victim believes abuse is a normal part of a relationship.
- The victim is financially dependent on the abuser. • The abuser has threatened to take the victim’s children away if (s)he leaves.
- The victim wants her/his children to have two parents.
- The victim’s religious and/or cultural beliefs preclude him/her from leaving.
- The victim has low self-esteem and believes (s)he is to blame for the abuse.
- The victim is embarrassed to let others know (s)he has been abused.
- The victim has nowhere to go if (s)he leaves.
- The victim fears retribution from the abuser’s friends and/or family.
For more information, visit www.ncadv.org.